‘Sexting’; Kicking game by way of SMS

Posted on Posted in Philosophy, Uncategorized, Women

You have to be over 18 for this one. If you’re a horn-bag you may want to click off this page as you will be disappointed. This is a family show so therefore, you will not see any explicit images. This aint an IG model’s DM.

What is your text style like?

To the point? Charismatic? Monotonic?… or sexually charged?

sexting

Is this the face you are leaving your love interest with?

I have never twiddled my thumbs in despair with the reality of not having anything to say to a girl especially by way of text.  The nature of texts surely reflects in every day conversation. In London, walking around in a densely packed city can give rise to conversations being unintentionally made public. The amount of boring shit I hear from couples is alarmingly high.

Jeks and I were walking in the London Bridge area scouting for street styles that we could emblazon our social media links with when we heard one such conversation. The guy turned to his girlfriend and said “You shouldn’t have left it at home” in the most whiny and unimaginable tone ever. He sounded like a parent not her partner. This might sound inconspicuous but he should have stayed at home and let his chick walk along the promenade in peace.

The uninspiring guy reminded me of my childhood and watching Hey Arnold. Brainy was a character who sought after Helga in vain. He used to breathe down her neck like the sucker he was. The guy in London Bridge reminded me of said character. This is how it played out by way of cartoon…

But I digress.

The following are text messages that were brought to our attention by the ‘muscle’ Jualito who supports Jeks and Rams street campaign. He is an alleged ladies man with an unrelenting text style which evokes emotions and in turn actions from women. Friends had Joey Tribiani. The Fresh Prince had Will Smith. Imperious Entertainment have Jualito.

Power Play Text

A young woman sent a text containing a barrage of questions, some were more of the rhetorical nature, to Jualito. Essentially, she wanted to know why Jualito was proving to be so allusive to contact.

He hit her with

Im transitioning from a previously more active role in giving a sweetie like yourself lyrical content by way of sexually charged comments by way of textual and audio euphemisms. My sheer presence in your life should be sufficient as let’s face it, you have never seen a motherfucking dude with the shoes like me before.

He was fully on one with this text. He was allegedly on some type of substance as let’s face it I find it incredulous how somebody could come out with that. He spelt out in an eloquent way that he was a world class romancer.

Do you respect it?

croc-shoes

Are these the shoes he impressed upon her that he was sporting that set him apart?

Straight crocodile baby!

 Sexually charged euphemisms

No overlap but there was a young woman in the summer who Jualito was ‘courting, for a brief period. She was a PE teacher and school was definitely out. Her 6 week window to turn up was in full effect. But she did not have to travel to foreign to do so as Jualito was fully turnt up. She was enquiring as to what Jualito had in store for her after a coffee at Starbucks. She was a slender 20-something-year old.

He sent…

I have never come up short in a bleep test before and in this sport there are two options and it is not win or lose; it’s blow your socks off or blow your back out

Who the hell is ghostwriting this? Is there a sweatshop of Mo G’s and Quentin Miller’s who pen Jualito’s texts? I hope the young lady’s head was not in the metaphorical sense lacerated from overthinking about that text. Incredible.

giphy

This must have been the expression left on her face

 Let me leave it there as I don’t want anybody to catch feelings. Jualito is a straight savage when it comes to his approach.

Are you?

A big shout out to the loyal supporters. The numbers on social media are growing by the day as the attention garnered for our brand is gaining some real momentum. Like I always say do not be scared to contribute. If you appreciate the programming let us know.

Love

Rams

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