Which team runs London City?

Posted on Posted in London, Sport, Uncategorized

Currently, there are five London clubs, which make up a quarter of the teams in the English Premier League. Everybody wants to be the King’s of London.  The dominant force in the capital.  Imperious Ent will run through the cultural, historical and current aspects of this great debate. Rep your set.

Disclaimer: The following is all banter intended to be tongue in cheek in nature.

North

Arsenal

Historically, Arsenal are out in front with 43 major titles. One can point at the successful double team of 1997/98. Undoubtedly, the greatest dynasty of Arsene Wenger’s time was the ‘Invincibles’ team of 2003/4 that managed to go throughout the whole season unbeaten.  A feat that has never been repeated.

To balance the books, the Gunners have failed to land a SINGLE European Cup/Champions League. A fact that one of their London rivals love to point out.  Also, the Gunners have not won the league since 2004.

arsenal invincibles

The immensely “athletic” team of 2003/4

Currently, the drought will stretch to 12 years if Arsenal don’t land the top prize this season.  One feels like their talented squad need to win this season otherwise it will be another stretch. What I can remember of 2004 was bumping this album HEAVY

college dropout

Kanye West’s FIRST ALBUM “College Dropout”

Culturally, Arsenal are THE team in the ‘ends.’ (ALLEGEDLY)

Technically, they are great.  In hip hop ‘THEY’ say Eminem (the white saviour) is the best as he is the most technical. Applying this same notion does that make Arsenal the best?

Tottenham

Historically, Spurs are 3rd on the all-time list with 26 major titles in their history.  They have had great players like Linekar, Hoddle and Gascoigne on their books.

On the other hand, they are “choke artists”, “always the bridesmaids” and the victims of “lasagne gate.”

SpursCarling

The last time Spurs won a trophy – The Leage Cup in 2008

Currently, Spurs look real mean in the current 2015/16 season.  They have discovered some new found mettle and they are in their strongest position since 1961 to land the top prize.  I made the statement that they are the “most complete team” this season.  Would I bet on them? Never, respectfully.

Culturally, I have not come across too many Spurs fans.  I know a few die-hard Spurs fans but they have some family links to the North London area.  When I think of a Spurs fan, I think of some slick-haired fast talking cockney geezers.

lord-sugar

Famous Spurs fan, former chairman and inspirational mogul Lord Sugar

(Lads, you better hope the current PROCESS works)

West

Chelsea

Historically, the Blues sit 2nd on the all-time honours list with 28 major titles. Since the Russian money, they have landed the top prize 4 times. They won the 2012 Champion’s League in dramatic style.

Chelsea had not won the league for 50 years prior to 2005.  They are actually based in Fulham and not Chelsea. They are the epitome of a revolving door club due to their ‘quick to sack the manager policy.’

chelsea 2012

Champions League winners in 2012

Currently, they are catching all manner of L’s (losses) in the Premier League.  Incredible, as they won the league title last season.  Surely, they will come back next season?

Culturally, pre-Abramovich, they had a different public relations image.  I remember getting Gianfranco Zola’s autograph when I was a kid in Odeon Cinema in Wimbledon.  I was gassed.  They were a cup winning team then.

Now, this is the culture respectfully…

STOKE ON TRENT, ENGLAND - DECEMBER 22: John Terry of Chelsea celebrates after the Barclays Premier League match between Stoke City and Chelsea at Britannia Stadium on December 22, 2014 in Stoke on Trent, England. (Photo by Michael Regan/Getty Images)

Mr Chelsea – John Terry (Photo by Michael Regan/Getty Images)

South

Crystal Palace

Historically, Palace took the mighty Manchester United to an FA Cup Final replay in 1990.  Only to narrowly lose the replay.  Palace finished 3rd in the old First Division in 1991.  I really had to do my googles.

Palace have not won a league title or a cup competition…

Still, at least they are based where they originated (sneak diss).

ian wright palace

Ian Wright lighting up the 1990 FA Cup Final

Currently, Palace have fully cemented their place as a mid-table team, which is an impressive feat.  They have some talented players.

Culturally, the ONLY reason why they were included in this discussion is because I am from South London.  The ‘tribalism’ stops there for me.

Palace fans know they are not the King’s of London, respectfully.

james-buckley-inbetweeners

Sorry to famous Palace fan James Buckley –

 “Jay” in the Inbetweeners

East

West Ham

Historically, West Ham are 3 time FA Cup winners.  They also finished 3rd in the old First Division in 1985-86, which is their highest finish.  Man like Bobby Moore, the great England and West Ham captain is their MVP.

Hooliganism is an unwelcome yet intrinsic part of West Ham’s history (ALLEGEDLY).  Do they have the CV of their other London rivals?

Currently,

Dimitri-Payet-605211

The exceptional Dimitri Payet

Culturally, West Ham fans are cockney geezers.  The pride of London’s East-End.  Proper hard-men.

russell-brand-west-ham_0

Russell Brand – Famous Hammer

Who wins?

You decide.  The fight to be on the throne as King’s of London will continue to rage on forever.  London is a competitive place and the city’s football clubs are no different.

Rams

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